The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Damn. xD

So I erased most of these spamy updates from my fb newsfeed. When I log in I get nice updates from pages that I love. I see Trash and vaudeville with links to things and this fucking awesome skirt with chains that is so out of my price range. XD It's still nice to look at even if I'll not get it. lol I haven't treated myself to anything from the Tripp company in almost a year. Don't picture that changing any time soon. I tease myself. lol

Heh, I woke up to my sister flooding the kitchen sink. Great. If I wasn't afraid of the microwave now I sure as hell am now. Ah well, these people.



That guy, he checked himself out of the hospital. Which was really stupid because he was in no condition to leave. And he has fucking germs. Like.. he's still freaking bleeding and any contact with his blood is dangerous. So yeah, good job hospital. I'm staying the fuck away from him and his friends. My mother loved him but knows where she stands. She's not in the mood for his germs or having me not want to stay here because of his ass. It'd be too much. I take care of her anyway. Taking care of two people when I hate one would be too much work for me. I'm only one person. It'd be pushing my emotions through a wall and then some. But she respects me which is good! ♥



And the good news. I got this really odd dream again, which was one of the best dreams that I ever had. o__o But I'm still sleepy. I only woke up to pee. lol I think thinking of sweet things before I sleep helps me sleep rather well. :)

I've been trying so hard to be good and happy. Helping them go to see him among other things, ends up making me very sleepy. Which isn't too bad, as long as they let me sleep enough.



I paused calling up for any jobs for now. That way I could be a little bit less stressed out by things.



I feel like I've had a lot more energy in recent days. I like the feeling.

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Lullaby
15:52 Sep 29 2011

You're amazing, helping your mom with this.

It must be hard, but you're making her happy at the sacrifice of your own feelings, and not everyone would do that - even for family.

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Sulks
09:49 Sep 30 2011

Lullaby is right but don't forget to look after yourself too.

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We got home after going to that place and visiting the guy.



We ended up bringing home so much food. Lot's of fruits too and I'm way too full to see what I want to eat first. lol I'm thinking of cooking some baked potatoes today and a huge soup tomorrow.

Well, I know I'm not religious but since the new year is coming up and we've been going to that place to eat it has been a blessing at times. Something that I'm grateful for though not proud about.



Anyway, we'll be eating early today because they're going to close it over the holiday.



Afterwards, we'll end up visiting that guy at the hospital again. Meh, not the best thing on the to do list but as long as it makes her happy to see him happy. It's kinda sad... when she left and said bye to him, he yelled out with what little voice he had that he loved her.

I am in a fan-fucking-tastick good mood.

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Bones
04:36 Sep 28 2011

There is no 'K' in fantastic. ;p

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TheArtistRose
04:40 Sep 28 2011

Too good a mood to spell. lol

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You piss me off sometimes. But I always know when to back down.



Spoiled brat.



Mornings are always hardest to wake up to. I can't help but try to put a smile on your face because I feel better making others happy. Hoping that you'd do the same for me some days. I love you. Everything will be okay given one damn long month.

Dreams are so wonderful as long as they're away from you.



Last night I think I had the best dream that I've ever had. I don't even know how. Guess sleeping more often is nice.

-Sigh- She loves him still. I know this, I knew this. It was awful of me to have not have told her what he had done so fast but I could see how much he meant to her.



I wish I could have changed things, I know I held a grudge for so long because he was such a bastard. What's a girl to do? I know the feeling of hating such a bastard and wishing things had been different. I'm more mature now, I've been through ex's myself, but I just... I'm just stuck.



To hold onto an asshole who was.. such a prick to you.. who you got away from; who drove you mad to the point where you said it's me or him or to think that every second you see him all you want to do is knock his block off?



Scatterbrained. :/

Damn me being human. I don't like feelings.



Ah well, least I can pick on his "Bro". Mother said that his "bro" (not his real brother) made her feel so bad. So I can mouth off to the fucktard. ^_^

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Requiem
13:11 Sep 26 2011

"So I can mouth off to the fucktard. ^_^" And there's the Pollyanna/silver lining. :)

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I was wearing something different today because my sister was doing laundry. It's nothing I'd really wear but it was funny. xP



"You look like a woman."



Yeah well no shit, I am a woman. lol Took me a wile to accept the fact I'm not a kid anymore too.

Okay, some sympathy for the devil. He's there in the hospital hungry as hell. But he's injured so he can't exactly eat yet or it'll kill him. Another thing, if a person is starving, giving them food that they aren't used to would put them into a shock and then they'd die.



So this dude, the friend of my mother's who drove me crazy last 4th of July, that guy is trying to get shit out of the dying guy (Like telling his family that he needs money when he doesn't.). lol And my mother put the dying dude's real brother on the phone to the asshole saying he's his "bro". lolz @ the screaming ending because the asshole is in trouble with the guys real brother. hahaha! Stupid mo'fo' :3

I remember the silly things that I used to do. So daring. Like my old Cee Lo addiction.



I once randomly joined in a game with my homie's homies and I didn't look at what they were betting. It was somewhere around my young teenhood ages. Possibly around when I was 12 or 13. I took a risk and played, beat over 5 people. And the prize, stupid ciggs. Haha.



My mother was like, what would you have done if you lost?! To this day thinking about it, I have no idea. And back then she smoked. lol I never did. I never will.



She had quit when I had gotten sick. She was trying to quit and the prices were getting higher. It was a small case of pneumonia that I caught that got her to quit so fast. It's been about 3 years sine she quit, I'm proud of her. :P

And there he was. The roach that wouldn't die.



His neck in blood soaked bandages, arms swollen, wires going everywhere across his body and a tube down his throat connected to a mask so he could breathe. That damned bastard without his beer bellied gut, skin tightly around his skull; skeleton like.



It's been a while since I saw him. Yet seeing him defenseless like that, made me feel, all the more powerful. For what he's done, even when he apologized twice just then, I still hold a grudge. All that grief, all of the lies.. the sorrow, the hiding, and getting away.. that sick little cockroach, I wish he would drop dead already. He drank himself away, he's caused so much trouble, stuff he should have gone to jail for and none of it matters, because in the end, I'm healthy and he's dying.



Mr.Roach wanted some food. We were nice, but the nurses didn't want us to leave it on his table. Poor him. Dangling hope of food only for some bitches to take it away. Heh, good job, bitches.

After I do all those errands I'll call up for some training.

What I want to do is get a steady job but that'll take some work. Once I get something I'll just end up handing over the pay to my family. And I'll save up for my future by putting some to the side.



Meh, there's a high school fair that my little sis is going to go to. I'll end up seeing some people who used to know me. You know what question stings the most? "Oh what college are you in?" >__-



I wanted to go to college when I was younger. I really did. But some stuff happened... and I couldn't. And now given the chance, why? I don't want to when a lot of people have a hard time landing a job after. So what will happen? I go for college just to have to owe money that I don't have when I could go for training and save up and take college later on in life or perhaps anything else that my future holds like my own start on family? lol I think my plan is better for now.



I need to set goals for myself. And no matter what, I need to stay happy. I am most of the time except when I go to bed. Every time I get kept up by my own thoughts. I need to get out more, I need to stop having bad thoughts. Most importantly, I need to MAN UP! No more sobbing before sleep and no more tossing and turning. Man up and take over my goals.

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Lullaby
16:02 Sep 24 2011

In a way, I think college is a way to waste time, and that's why most people go. To "give them time to sort out their future" they force most kids into further education, and before you know it, you've gotten stuck in some course you hate, and you're even having to pay for it.





No offence, but our system is much better. xP

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I love how it rained today. I got to sleep well.



I looked back at my e-mail to find more rejections. Wonderful. :)



>:/ Meh, I guess when I get the chance I'll call up a good security place for training where I know they won't try to rip me off and if all else fails... I'll go to get free home aid training. I really don't like that health aid stuff because... -because I do that most of the time at home. Sure I'd be wonderful at it but I don't want to be doing that crap. It's icky to take care of people who aren't family.



Fuck you economy. Fuck you!

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Sulks
19:45 Sep 23 2011

Ach, I hope you find something you want to do soon. Job searches suck these days, it's almost impossible to find something because so many folk apply for the same position.



Good luck with it!

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TheArtistRose
19:51 Sep 23 2011

lol Except loser jobs like where there are so many people who don't know what they're doing and can't speak English. For the Home attendant job anyway. Where most people fail at taking care of my mother, I'd be so good at it because I'd be able to speak English and because I usually take care of her so I bet I'd be good at taking care of others. Only thing is that I don't like traveling to old strangers. I don't know how creepy it'd be. ._.



Security- it'd be easy to just watch out for things. But the last security job I applied for had a bad fine print which seemed like a scam, so I'll have to be careful.



I know a lot of people are applying for the same thing, I just have to try not to give up in the end. I really can't understand why people who can't understand anything have jobs while I have nothing. O.o

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I changed the name on that. I haven't change it in over a year. Guess that's what the poem stood for. I don't know what to think. The past few years just haven't been what I expected. I'm not even greedy anymore. I just wish I could do more. I can't even sleep well thinking I could do more when I can't seem to be good at doing much.



Sometimes I wish I were a kid again and some people in my childhood had acted differently. My dreams just aren't the same as they used to be. I don't know what to have hope in. I don't know what the future holds. I just hope it's decent. I should have slept.

I hate when someone lies and then you go along with it just to turn that lie into reality. lol



Otherwise this day has gone very well. :3 Everyone's been so nice today and I've been watching some missed seasons of 1,000 ways to die. That show freaks me out but I can't help but laugh every time. :')

Get away from me. Stop trying to sneak on and see what I write! If you want to then do it and get angry and get over it then do it already! Stop making me paranoid! Christ, stop it, stop it, stop it.



You just want to be on the computer to fuck with me. Here, go on and read everything I have, god. Go get whatever and add all your retarded friends who you'd rather spend time on the phone with.



Sorry journal, I had to get my rage out. :/ I guess I shouldn't worry about you reading my personal life but I am. Just like how people don't want a paper journal to be read. God, looking back on everything there will be such nonsense and anger but I only care because I live here and not anywhere else. lol Otherwise I wouldn't give a fuck.

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Lullaby
09:04 Sep 21 2011

Don't tell her your screen name on here~ Or, just make another FB account with the same name, and add her on that. Sneaky. lol

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TheArtistRose
11:14 Sep 21 2011

She already knows my screen name. lol Pretty hard not to know it's me. xP

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I rejected the job because they want so much for training when I just don't have it. Ugh, I feel like I wasted time and money traveling. I feel good that I read the fine print but I still kinda feel bad.



The last thing that I look forward to is dinner for today because I skipped everything else. I hate going to that place to eat but you know if you're hungry enough and it's there then there's a point where you don't care about who judges you.



Just. My. Luck. I'll ring a few other places tomorrow I guess.

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Requiem
00:12 Sep 20 2011

Good things will come.





They will, honey.

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Sulks
20:07 Sep 20 2011

you know, I have my fingers crossed for you



( and it's pretty hard to type while they're crossed dontcha know )



but, something will turn up for you and it might just be the best thing in the world :D

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The little things can make me so happy sometimes. A nice warm bed, a long shower and some good dinner. Though I hate being woken up. God how I'd love for people to be less annoying in my life that they wake me up for retarded reasons. Even my kitty is selfish.



"Medusa go wake her up!" -Mom

Then she nudges me and meows in my ear for me because she loves me so much. lol Still, it's so evil. :P



Back to bed I guess. -Yawns-

Fear of buttoned shirts on myself. I'll be fine tomorrow as long as nothing rotten happens. Going to rest off today and wake up real early to give myself travel time to a place I've never been to.



Ah, an interview. Whatever happens, least I tried and I'll keep trying damn it.



Hmm, she keeps getting me nervous. But I want to try and grow up fast for the sake of the other one. That girl's gotta have my back though if I fuck up life wasting time and she's successful...! In the future that is.



Things done for love are bitter sweet.



On another note, it's no wonder why I never share as much as I could with them. I make one really good pervy but funny joke about a sign on a subway and I get shunned. Heh. And basically called a loser. Funny stuff. Then you explain that the reason why you didn't like it is because you didn't make it first. -.- Pftt. T_T I knew I was funny!

To spare myself the issues with over thinking things- I'll just pretend everything is good and go to bed. Other than that, I think I'm just getting too old to do such heavy lifting. I'll ignore the pain for now but I just have to keep telling myself not to help. Even if I feel guilty. Super woman can't do what she used to anymore with a hurty hip. I just can't do all the support. I don't want to end up falling down stairs or something. Did that once and still dragged my sorry ass up. ha.



Yelled at a few people today so that was sort of fun. Along with running over some. But you know women drivers. lololol With a chair of course. xP I'm not a car driver. :P

Alright. So I was a bit upset yesterday. Too hurt to enjoy myself but after so much sleep I think I'll be enjoying myself in Little Italy for the Feast later today. ;) Going to get a slice of pizza and hopefully a cannoli. A cannoli being the most important thing ever! Of course maybe that's just because I'm from Brooklyn. xD They're my favorite; if I could I'd fucking live off of them!

Oy vey, or not getting a tattoo soon. Blah, Got myself an interview this Monday. If I don't get the job for that then I'll try other places. It comes with training that they take out of the pay. Security shit. Though I applied to some other things, heh, no one will get back to me like usual. Seems like the only places where I do get phone calls back are from the security places. Haha That job won't be scary and I have a "I don't give a fuck" thing going on where I feel so fucked! :D....

Breathing. Alright. I'm back to my job searches still because it'll make me feel better. Or, I can pick a fight with a wall who knows. Meh, Least I have my last tattoo for a while to look forward to. Have to go before the 23rd.

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Lullaby
15:54 Sep 17 2011

Hold onto it - you've still got something to look forward to.

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I really should cheer up a bit. It just hurts because I never get a break. God, I'd be fucking happy with something that didn't last long or a dead end job but fuck. I shouldn't be so upset. But I am. I have such rage and hurt feelings.



I feel like I've failed because no matter what no one wants me. Yet there are so many people who bitch and complain. I hate myself so much. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

It's sad when people are so brainless and retarded. I think this is why I only enjoy conversations with so few.



That's all I'm saying.. I like science and history and some other topics. Not math though. s: And when people can't tell when I'm making a history reference... heh. Sad day for A- haha I'm so bad. xD I can't bare to finish that sentence.

So, I just came back from an audition to act. I was wonderful and my old self. I don't know what it was but my inner people person self came out after hiding in my home so often. xP



I really hope I get this. I felt like a million bucks. 8D



lol I must have looked it too because when I came out this creeper dude pulled off one of those Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, Italian, "How YOU Doin'?" and asked me for my number but I said he was too old and snubbed him off. xD

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PandorasBx
20:47 Sep 15 2011

Good luck!

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starfields
21:50 Sep 15 2011

Yes, good luck!

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Might I add, I might not get it but it's still worth a shot for fun. Lolol

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xxEmaeraldxx
21:09 Sep 14 2011

Try anyone once!

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SO while I'm waiting I found this temp job to be a monster on the weekends till Halloween. And since I live close enough to Coney I'd love to have that job. I have a choice from being a zombie, scarecrow to being a clown. I'm thinking being a zombie won't be too bad. >:) Tough you know what this means? Make up time! :D Haha. I love freak make up. x:

Well, now that that's agreed for. I just have to play the waiting game for a while. What I wish I could do is hang around the village. Ah, what I'd do to meet new people. And by people I mean, heh. >:] Being fun.

Okay so I have to wait for my ID to come and I'll set up a date for the 8 hour class and then the 15 hour training. Then once I pay off what I owe and get my license I'll get to work. :P



Really, I can look scary and I don't want to further it more. I just want something decent. It's not too hard a thing and you don't have to do much. Not too many hours spent on classes.



Sure they'll be some sort of fake cop crap uniform but that's not bad at all. I don't want to be a cop, I just want to look tough. lol It's perfect. ;P For now.

Security training might have my name on it if my mother's friend shows me where to go. Ha, Imagine that shit. Upgraded from keyboard warrior to official security. jkjk xD

I'm just really confused at the moment. Hurt and confused. Why would you say such a thing? I'm still teary eyed even now. I guess, I just don't know what to do. Should I stay and try to build up or go to rock bottom and put myself at so many risks? Maybe I need a clear head.

Ugh, fuck off. Just everyone and everything, fuck off.



I hate when I try to talk to her and she puts the world on my shoulders. Now I've done something stupid and took it out on a wall but ended up with a bloody hand. God I'm fucking stupid. No words for how much of a fool I've been.



I hate writing entries like this, but whatever floats my boat.



When I hear the word "Irresponsible Adult" I think of all the fuck ups out there having fun. I never have as much fun. You trap me. I KNOW it'd be good for me to get out but I ran home that day because I was sick. I've BEEN spending less time on here after that fucking bullshit happened where I realized that being on here will get me no where but having all my work erased.. I've mostly been on here for the journals anyway. And most importantly, I know I should get a job. But it hurts to think of what a loser I am, checking my e-mail every 10 minutes and knowing I can't say I found one to you. Ugh, Fuck. You love pressuring me don't you, fucking, fuck up yourself!



I don't think I've ever cried so much in one day for years.

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Oceanne
18:05 Sep 12 2011

You arent a looser.

From what little I have seen or know,it appears to me like you are simply finding your way right now.



If Im not mistaken,you are at a really tricky age ..you are old enough to be an adult in aspects,but young enough to be really only getting started as an adult.

You have had a lot of responsibilites at a young age,and that is never easy.

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I'm sorry but I can't stand how annoying most of you are. Most people don't know that it all started 10 years before, and most people often forget about where the other ones took place. So much for remembering. You're all caught up in it. And I only read up on some stories, others are just slow.



And no, I'm not disrespectful, I just wish more people had more knowledge to show off just how much pride was had.



It's like another advertised holiday instead of a remembrance. I mean, even in life, the advertisements are just sad and retarded. And believe me there are advertisements all about it! I had the original papers just after the day. I saw it all. I live it. I'm one of New York, however I was young. Also, lets not forget the others. The one that didn't hit, and the one that hit the other state. Unless you were showing so much pride towards one area that you forgot?



Now here's a story. Read it or not, it's a lot more interesting than "Omg, it totally happened." Though, I'll admit, some stories on here ARE good. Here's my take:



I was in the 4th grade. It was one of the first days of classes. So early in the morning, the other children and I were questioning why it was so foggy out. We never got any answers to the questions asked. Maybe it was because the teachers wanted everyone to stay calm.



Our Brooklyn windows were facing Manhattan. It was just so foggy out...



Parents were slowly coming up to pick up their children. Then teachers got notice to inform parents to come up to the school and take their children home.



Some people were stuck places, others were very happy to see who was okay.



My mother's cousin was taken to a New Jersey Hospital because the ones in NY were full. He was working near the site, so everyone was worried, but he ended up okay.



I think what struck me most that day was the air. It was just so foggy, the smell, the debris the look, the look of death. Creepy, shocking, paranoid, scary time in America.



And that, is why we have pride, to remember, and to live history. Not to advertise.

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Oceanne
14:56 Sep 11 2011

This is a good entry.Thanks for sharing your 911 experience with us.

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God. :/ I just wish the stupid little bits of drama would end. The bathroom is leaking from above. Now we're going to have to deal with the super soon. Heh.



I'm so damn tired. Maybe it was because I was hyper and burned off all the energy last night. And I know I don't complain about it much but my hip has been hurting from taking everyone out so much. I'd love to have a cane about now. x_x

Finally might get some insurance.. just have to apply to it soon. When it goes though in like a months time I'll have my tooth fixed and my hip checked out.

Ugh, most of the home attendants that they send to my mother do nothing. So they sent the nurse person to check up on why most didn't want to work. It was mostly because of the short hours and because we have a few cats but it's so god damn annoying.



They way they were here trying to find excuses. "Oh you just have to take care of your mother. Blah blah blah" And it's like :/ You people have no idea. T_T Your people are supposed to be doing their jobs. Ugh, the whole things has me a bit sad. Here I am giving up what I want to take care of things and people like that have to kick me where it hurts. I'm not a super woman but I try.

Only phone calls that I'm getting back are spam asking about joining crappy programs. I wish I got the right call. I wish for a lot of things but I doubt I'll get it. I hate having no hope any more and giving up.



Yeah, yeah, "It'll get better, you'll be fine, one of them will get back." Pft, I don't believe it anymore.

Envy, is such a strong word for what some have. I wish things had been different. I wish I had stood up when we had that .. for that one time I did have it all set up. Then abandoned. What are material things anyway?



Everything will be alright. Because one day I'll be something. And I'll take care of it all. No one got my back though because I don't expect it. Cold way of thinking.



Sometimes it's okay to think of the past even if it should be forgotten, because it's just there. There to be learned from to make everything better next time.

So it was rainy weather but I managed to get a few errands done. The highlight of my day-



When I was pushing my mother in her chair and I slowed down so I can lift the chair over a bump and someone says "Do you need some help?" And I say, "Do YOU need any help?", as I finish lifting it over the bump. :P I hate when people do that because they don't know what they're doing in the first place. And it's like, you people need help for being retarded. lol



Also, my mother's cane broke today. O.o That thing is older than I am. Poor awesome cane.

I cannot wait for his death. When he dies, I'm throwing a party!

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Oceanne
15:07 Sep 06 2011

Be careful..thinking like that.

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TheArtistRose
23:39 Sep 06 2011

Never. :3 If he dropped dead in the next second I'd be so happy. :D :D :D :D :D

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Oceanne
18:20 Sep 10 2011

As long as you do,those "little bits of drama" that keep throwing kinks into your life?..they wont stop.In fact,they will get worse.



It isnt all in our actions,our thoughts make a difference too.

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TheArtistRose
18:29 Sep 10 2011

Oh, I didn't get the notice that you were god. In fact, this dude, drank himself to death among other things that he's tried to do to me. But you know what? :D Here, I won't be as nasty as you are to not let me express myself in peace. Have a quote!



"When God gives you AIDS - and God does give you AIDS, by the way - make lemonAIDS." -Big S.

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Oceanne
18:35 Sep 10 2011

Dude,who said anything about GOD? I see two years worth of journal entries from you..things arent so great.Then I see this.Im just telling you that when our thinking changes,so do our lives.You arent the only one who had things done to them,but why let the ones who did it control you to the point to where you cant even have a decent life?

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TheArtistRose
18:40 Sep 10 2011

Because I'm not about to abandon family? Plus I'm not about to live on the street. I'm a mothering person. Is that so wrong? Hell, when I have kids I'll be a damn good mother.



And my journal isn't bad all the time. Give or take, I've had some awesome moments. You just don't know the whole story. Then again, I'd be wasting time trying to explain myself. I don't need to.



Instead, I'll throw a party when he dies and listen to Sarah Silverman sketches. :D The tune, "You're gonna die soon." comes to mind. It's my favorite song. ;P

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Oceanne
18:50 Sep 10 2011

Again,no one said anything about you being a bad person..or that your life is always bad.

Personally,I KNOW you have a lot on your shoulders.

But hey,as I said before,Im just letting you know that you can change a lot in how life comes at you.If you want to listen? great,if not?

All I could say is enjoy what you have then .Cause it isnt gonna change until you change it.



I just thought you wanted more,so I reached out a hand to let you know one of the ways you CAN get that.doing so doesnt make me an ass or a" retard" Artist.

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TheArtistRose
19:01 Sep 10 2011

Who even called you an ass or a retard? I know I didn't. o.O What ARE you trying to get at, because at this point your "Good intentions" are lost. I didn't even understand them in the first place. I'm sorry if you think that way. You know what, good or bad person, I'm happy with myself. I never said otherwise. This is my journal, where I express my distaste. Not my whole life. You can't see my face behind the screen. Whatever your problem is, maybe you should take your own advice. :D Because I sure as hell know what I want, and I want to enjoy his death! :D



He's gonna die! :D And that bothered you, for you to make the first comment. That first comment made no sense. ;D

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Oceanne
20:23 Sep 10 2011

LOL No problems in my life,thanks.But it isnt that he is going to die that bothers me..none of it bothers me to be honest. I was simply letting you know that when we relish in someone elses misery,it affects our own lives.

Nothing more.

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TheArtistRose
20:36 Sep 10 2011

And that's the thing, it affected me by being happy. ;D



And that's all that really matters.

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Sometimes I'm just in a bad mood. Like getting the feeling that I want to give up on some things. Maybe I'm just too moody. I'm too picky, I'll never meet my goals. They've been trashed.



I'm contemplating making a new live journal where only I would know who I was. Because there's so much that I leave out of here at times. Because I can't express it here. I just can't.

So, everyday outside is like an adventure. When the family and I went out to eat at this place, I wanted to use their bathroom. So I knocked on the door once. Then my mother went ahead of me. Because she's older I let her go first. But the cranky old man who came out said something about leaving his book in there. O.o



He started yelling at me and said "You kept knocking on the door a bunch of times." I went and said, "Yeah, well I'm not the one reading in the bathroom". And he kept yelling so I said please don't yell at me in a calm voice and the people in charge of the place made him move away from me. Then he left. By the time I went to use the rest room there was no book there. O.o Wonder what his problem was. Honestly, what, was he going to fight me? ha, Bring it. :P



Ah, in other news, I might not be on as much as I usually am. I'm going to do some serious job hunting. I already pulled some hunting off today. Blah- One place said they never got my internet application and that they're still hiring. -.- I'll fill one out for them again and then bug them by calling if anything. I'm going to apply to something else too and then tomorrow I'm going to try to have some fun by myself just randomly walking around the freak scene and checking for any open jobs there. After all I'd fit in well. I guess I'm all hyped right now and more determined than ever after that pig of a guy said that sexist thing about me getting some jobs. Hmm, Just have to hold onto luck. I might even bug that comic shop yet again because I just can't help but wish to have a dream job there.

My mother's friend, the one who annoyed the fuck out of me till I was cursing in my room during the 4th of July; he said something so sexist. God I hate that dude.



He's always saying that there's something wrong with me. And now he said something like I probably won't get this one job because only guys get it. But I'm not just any girl, I'm me and he should know this by now. I'm a hard worker who works harder than some can.



I'd rant some more but I can't bring myself to. I'll just have to ignore him and keep searching. He's not part of that company, just an asshole. And I will try to keep avoiding him at all costs because I'll end up opening my mouth.

Grr, filling out job applications that say "Entry level" and then want experience make no sense. I'm not going to get shit. xD I don't know why I bother. Just have to get lucky one day.

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birra
17:11 Sep 04 2011

Entry Level these days translates to: We want to know you have experience so we don't have to put as much into training you, but don't expect anything more than 20% above minimum wage.



There are jobs out there - you need to stop filling out applications and actually getting to know people that make hiring decisions. Are you working through any temp or staffing agencies?

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TheArtistRose
17:24 Sep 04 2011

I don't know many people who are employed anywhere. I do know of one guy who won't be working anymore (Because he's too sick) and knows some people so I'll be bugging him. But other than that I've been trying to get jobs in sales or staff of some sort. I'll never work in something like McDonalds. And if it were minimum wage I'd go for it. Just because it's a start. For now until I can get the job training that I need for what I want in the future.

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It takes time, love and care but I wish everything would heal faster. I guess it's a lesson to myself because for once I'm taking care of someone other than someone else, myself.



Fall is almost here. After getting a taste of how cold winter will be because of that breeze, ick, I really hate winter. So damn much. I hate shivering when no one else seems to shiver.



But yet, I can't wait for the seasonal changes because it'll mean that time and care for everyone has passed and everyone will be alright. Seriously never wished for November to come so much in my life.

I always had a motto of "Why smack when you could punch?" but you sir, deserve a smack for the dramatic affect. If only.

To rely on a dying man. I know that sounds wrong. It's the only option that I have for now. Nothing seems to go my way job wise, so I'll see what he can do. He owes me a lot for all the trouble he's caused in the past. That roach should have kicked the bucket years ago.



Meh, what am I thinking? Chances are that nothing will happen like always. I can't get my hopes up. I just hate rejection. :/ Been rejected too many times since January!

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Lullaby
06:03 Sep 03 2011

A job's a job. He may either promote you, or tell people not to hire you - it's a risk and it's worth it if you get the job. So... in a way, I think it isn't wrong.

The end of his life will help the beginning of yours.

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Here is my second tattoo. I waited a day to post it since I got my computer working again. It says "Mom" in the heart and it looks bloody in this picture because it was taken the day it was done.

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Sulks
14:59 Sep 01 2011

hey it's a good one! I love having tattoos, it's almost an addiction although I don't have many because they are pretty expensive, and I don't want to choose badly so I take ages to decide what I want to live with forever.

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Lullaby
15:29 Sep 01 2011

It'd look cool now! :P

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TheArtistRose
17:12 Sep 01 2011

It'd look better now but I don't exactly want to show the area when it has to heal, being as it's on my leg. xP



And Sulks, I planed my first one for years. The rest I'll live with because I like my taste. I'm planing out more, and they do cost but the guy I get it from is awesome for his prices. Friendly too. :P I read up on him and he's someone who learned from guys who did tattooing when it was banned in NYC. He may not be one of the original people who does them but he's well known in my area. xP He has an interview about it in a Coney Island page that I found. :P

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